What it means to feel safe in therapy
What does it mean to feel safe in therapy?
If you’ve ever considered starting therapy but stopped because it felt too vulnerable, too unknown, or just plain intimidating—you’re really not alone. Feeling safe is at the heart of therapy, and it’s not always clear what it truly means.
So let’s talk about it.
Safety is not about perfection
First off, feeling safe in therapy doesn’t mean you’re always at ease. In fact, therapy can bring a lot up in us. And emotional safety means you know you can bring your whole self into the room—your fears, confusion, anger, and even silence—and still be met with care and respect.
It means you won’t be judged or rushed. You won’t be told how you should feel. You won’t be expected to make sense of everything right away.
It’s not about needing to “get it right.” It’s about knowing you’re supported while you explore.
What safety can look and feel like
Everyone’s sense of safety is different, and here are some things you might notice when it’s present in therapy:
You feel permission to pause or take a breath without pressure to perform.
You can say, “I don’t know,” or “I’m not ready to talk about that,” and it’s respected.
You notice your nervous system slowly shifting out of high alert—or at least not escalating further.
You’re allowed to laugh, cry, fidget, go quiet, or not make sense.
You feel your boundaries are honoured.
And sometimes, safety also means being gently challenged—held in a way that allows you to stretch without breaking.
We build it together
As a therapist, it’s my job to help create and protect that safe space. Though I want to make it clear, I will not define it for you—you do. That’s why I will always move at your pace. I will check in. I listen not just to what you say, but to what your body and energy are communicating, too.
We build trust in small, steady steps. That might look like clarifying consent before exploring certain topics, noticing when you need grounding, or simply being consistent and present.
It’s okay if it takes time
Feeling safe with a therapist might not happen in the first session—or even the first few. That’s normal. You may need time to see that this space is really, truly different from other spaces in your life. That’s why there’s no rush. Therapy is not a race; it’s a relationship.
And in this relationship, your comfort, your nervous system, your pace—they matter so so so much.
Final thought
You deserve a space where you can leave the mask off. Where you can slowly exhale. Where safety is felt, not just talked about.
If that’s something you're looking for, I’m here to take that journey with you toward it—one step at a time.
Warmly,
Abbey