What if my therapist says something I don’t agree with (or that doesn’t sit well)?

Therapy is a space for healing, growth, and discovery—but let’s be honest: sometimes it can feel really vulnerable. Especially when something your therapist says doesn’t sit right with you.

Maybe they name something that feels “off.”
Maybe they misunderstand part of your story.
Maybe they offer a reflection or a suggestion that just doesn’t land.

If you’ve ever had that moment—where something inside you goes,

“Umm… I don’t know about that…”

You’re not alone.

And more importantly: you’re allowed to feel that way.

Therapy Isn’t About Agreeing All the Time

One of the biggest myths about therapy is that the therapist is “the expert” and the client’s job is to listen, absorb, and agree. But real therapy—especially the kind that honours your full humanity—isn’t about that.

In the kind of work I do, your inner knowing matters. Your felt sense matters.

Your discomfort, disagreement, or confusion is not a sign that you’re doing therapy “wrong”—it’s actually a really valuable part of the process.

Sometimes the most healing moments happen after you notice that something doesn’t feel quite right.

A Real-Life Example

I’m a very visual person. I often find that images, diagrams, or metaphors help me communicate ideas more clearly.

One time, I shared a visual I often use with clients—something I find helpful to explain how our internal system operates. And this particular client paused, looked at it, and said,

“This isn’t landing.”

She went on to describe her own internal image—something entirely different and resonated with her. And it was such a beautiful moment. Because instead of trying to mold herself to what I brought in, she honoured what felt true for her.

And I got to meet her there.

That image she created? It ended up being something we returned to again and again in our work together. It wasn’t mine—it was hers. And that made all the difference.

You Get to Bring That Into the Room

If something I say—or any therapist says—doesn’t sit well with you, it’s okay (and encouraged) to bring that up. Therapy should be a space where all of you is welcome, including the parts that feel unsure, frustrated, or even disappointed.

You might say:

• “What you said earlier didn’t really land for me… can we talk about that?”

• “I’m noticing something doesn’t feel right about that. I’m not sure why, I just feel it.”

You don’t need to be polite or explain yourself perfectly. You get to show up exactly as you are. And if something I say doesn’t resonate, I want to know that. Not so I can defend or fix it—but so we can explore it together.

That’s part of the real relationship we’re building.

It’s Okay to Speak Up (Even If It Feels Uncomfortable)

I know it’s not always easy to bring this kind of thing up—especially if you’ve had experiences where your voice wasn’t heard, where disagreement wasn’t safe, or where you were told your feelings were “too much.” In therapy, those old dynamics can show up too.

And part of healing is learning that your no is welcome. Your confusion is welcome. Your voice doesn’t have to be filtered or hidden to keep the connection intact.

A good therapist doesn’t expect you to agree with everything they say.

A good therapist wants to know when something feels off—so they can slow down, repair, and understand you better.

What If It Happens More Than Once?

If there’s a pattern of things not feeling good—if you’re feeling misunderstood or disconnected more often than not—that’s also important to talk about. Sometimes it can be part of the therapeutic process, and sometimes it may mean it’s not the right fit.

And either way, you get to choose what feels best for you.

You’re allowed to name what you need.
You’re allowed to shift, pause, or even end therapy if it’s no longer serving you.
You don’t owe anyone your silence or your agreement.

Final Thought

Therapy isn’t about being agreeable—it’s about being real.

So, if something doesn’t sit well, listen to that. That discomfort might be a signal from a wise part of you, asking for more clarity, more care, or a deeper conversation.

Whatever it is, it’s worth exploring.
And if we’re working together, I’ll always hold space for that exploration—with curiosity, not judgement.

You don’t have to keep it inside. Let’s talk about it.

Warmly,

Abbey